To Tread Upon This Path
by Alithea
Summary: Kozue and Miki consider their strained relationship as they are observed from the shadows. Some light yaoi. Takes place durring the Black Rose Saga


**Title: To tread upon this path  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Kozue, Miki, Mikage, and Mamiya.  
Poetry is mine don't take it without asking.  
Light Yaoi content in there.  
Utena: I don't own it...don't sue me...no money.  
Time period: Black Rose Saga sometime between Mitsuru's duel and Wakaba's.  
Note: Somewhere in this story mixed into the dialogue are lyrics from the song "Some Half Baked idea Called Wonderful" by a band called Catatonia. Not only that, but this was a challenge that was set for me by a friend. This story is being reposted after a long absence.**

It felt like a God-awful thing to have stuck in her head, but it was there, and what could she do about it. It was like a nightmare only worse because it was full of dark confessions she hated herself for. She loved her brother. She missed being able to talk to him without an argument erupting. She missed a lot of things about her past but…She was the one keeping things as they were. She was the one who embraced the cruel so she could feel. If only, just for a little while. The dream stuck though, and as she slid out of the stranger's bed she wondered if it would ever go away.

Fumbling lightly in the darkness she dressed and escaped from the room of her latest conquest. Her deep blue eyes carefully searched the corridor, and finding no one to witness her escape, she casually walked out of the building. The sun wasn't quite up yet, and the trees were making strange shadow plays along the cement path.

Nimble fingers brushed through topaz hair, and her thoughts drifted from that ugly dream to her grotesque reasoning for acting as she did. It was almost a simple list to make. She was cruel because it was easy, it was fun to a point, and it got her what she wanted. Well, sort of. She took hearts and broke them because that was the only thing she could think to do to get her brother's attention. But he just pretended he didn't care, and while she found a way to make that a victory, deep inside she knew she lost.

The path sparked off into a slight crossroads and she had to decide if she would wander home or just wander. The shadows were slowly shrinking and she could have sworn…But no, the light must be playing tricks on her eyes. Still, she thought she saw the whispered echo of a hand pointing her towards the burnt out memorial hall. It had to have been the light, the light and her nightmare taking her mind and twisting it briefly.

Kozue Kaoru opted for the comfort of her own bed, and the disapproving glances of her brother. She took the path she knew, the path that was well worn, and wouldn't cause her to stumble.

_Soft but the light breaks well  
And I am here  
I will tell  
Something seems to be drawing close  
Something whispers to me  
Echoes like a ghost  
And all my demons dear  
Everything I want to forget  
They manifest here_

"Another failure," he whispered.

The fire consumed the disappointment as he leaned against the wall. Was there no one who could take the Rose Bride's life? He sighed, but his robotic expression remained the same.

"Another failure…Even the cruelest of insects could not defeat her." He looked into the darkness before him, his eyes sparking slightly with life as a young boy stepped from the shadows. "What do the roses say?"

The boy looked at him curiously and replied, "They say to watch and listen."

The boy stepped in close to the computer like man, almost seductive, perhaps an invitation to forget the misery of defeat. It was hard to tell.

"There are not many roses left." The boy mentioned.

"Then we watch," the salmon haired man whispered. "And we listen. Perhaps, some sibling rivalry will come in handy once again."

"Perhaps." The boy remarked softly, his tone inviting, still mysteriously lingering on things forgotten.

"Or maybe the insect will spark something new?"

"Maybe."

The man's heart was beginning to pulse rapidly. The boy was ever so close and he could, he could spare a moment or two to create another memory to further his wish to make his beautiful Mamiya the Rose Bride. Further the need to capture eternity and live. He let out a sigh once more and walked down a path he created, because the path was familiar and forever sweet.

_The tone is slight  
And the manner mild  
The piano sweet  
And the saxophone wild  
Smokey nights that fly by  
Making memories a hazing mist  
Falling down to the ground  
Just know this  
This pulse is toxic  
It isn't what it seems  
This note is poison  
And drowns you in your dreams_

His fingers hit the keys with lazy purpose. It wasn't a song he was really familiar with but it was stuck in his head so he decided to give it a try. His sister had been playing it over and over again, and while normally he didn't let the things she did affect him, he couldn't help but think she played the song on purpose.

He started to hum a bit, and his soft blue eyes shut momentarily. He had hoped, almost naively, that things would have changed because of that dark incident. He had hoped that night when his sister had forgotten about the duel and asked for a milkshake, he hoped that it was the start of something new. But, it wasn't. It was a false hope. Things fell back into the normal routine as if nothing was different.

His fingers tripped over a note and he stopped playing for a moment. He took in a heavy breath and started again.

He spoke rather than sang a few of the words. "I don't want you to go…But I just want you to know…She gave me nothing…That I could not bear to lose."

He shook his head. He just could not reason why his sister did the things she did. He just wanted to know why, why it all had to fall apart because of one stupid concert. He spoke the line again not noticing the door to the music room creak open.

"Miki," her voice was soft and cruel.

He turned and faced her curiously. "What do you want?"

She huffed. "I don't want anything. You're here awfully late."

His fingers continued to move over the keys, trying desperately to expel the song that was so stuck in his head.

"No later than usual, I suppose you're waiting for a date?"

The girl nodded and walked over to the piano. She was playing with something in her hand. Fumbling with it, and it almost irritated him. His fingers paused briefly as he noted that it was a paperclip, and then he continued.

Her blue eyes seemed to watch in awe as her brother, from memory alone, played one of her favorite songs. They sat in silence for a long while. She leaned against the piano, and he continued to play after repeatedly stating that she shouldn't lean like that.

The girl sighed, and placed the paperclip she had been fussing with down on her brother's notebook. She began to walk out of the room.

"I don't want you to go," he said. "I just want you to know…"

She stopped and looked over at him. She almost seemed sad.

"We'll still shove us down the stairs," She whispered. "Still, get in each others hair."

She quickly took her leave. She didn't want such a moment to exist, so simple and sweet. It might make a new path, and she didn't feel like walking down that way, at least not yet.

He didn't try and stop her from leaving. He didn't even try and explain what had just happened. He took his fingers off the keys and picked up the silver clip his sister had been fussing with. A shining image of a heart sat in his hands and if he weren't so afraid of being caught he would have cried. Instead, he put the trinket down and started to play a song he called "Pessimism."

Over the worried melody he sighed. "I just need to know…Did you want him to go…Did you push him where the girl lies…Where does the girl lie? Why does she hide? Why…" He paused and looked out at the impossible night sky. It was thick with clouds. It pulsed with shadows that seemed to echo of all the hidden things everyone he knew carried deep inside. "Why does she hide?"

_Some things are light  
Some things heavy  
Some things wish to invade  
Intrude upon your memory  
But I'm happy here  
Happy to live alone  
Feel your ghost wrap around me  
Feel my memories get the better of me  
Some things are soft  
Some things harsh  
I wish to stay  
Wrapped in this phantom embrace  
Lost with out a trace  
Only to find myself quickly replaced_

"Do you remember your first kiss?"

He looked over, his face expressionless for a moment. He shrugged. "Not really. Why?"

"I would think that a memory like that would be something you would hold onto."

"It was a kiss." He sat up and the bed sheet slid away from him a bit. "I remember our first kiss."

"I've no doubt."

"That kiss should have been my first," he confessed. "It meant more."

"It or you?"

He pulled the sheet up. "I meant it, more than anything before. I meant that kiss."

"It's a good memory then?"

"Yes."

"We won't be able to reuse the insect, or the siblings."

He sighed and sat back in the bed. "I know. Something changed. Their memories?"

"They have new ones. My roses say we need something different to defeat her."

He looked away. It was darker than he remembered. A thin finger touched his lips and he wondered, he wondered if he would be able to build more memories if he succeeded. Soft lips were upon his and he lost what he was thinking of. The roses always spoke in waves of truth, but he trusted the boy next to him. He trusted that moment.

_If you ever find that thing  
That thing you are missing  
The thing that tore you from my side  
If you find it  
I hope you keep it  
I hope it makes you happy  
I hope it brings you peace  
I may never find what I lost  
I may never know where it went  
But I hope  
I hope you find yours  
I hope it comes to you  
Makes you smile  
And you remember  
That once  
Things were perfect between us  
Once things were safe and unbroken_

"Here," he said softly. "This is for you."

Miki held out the notebook and waited.

She huffed, irritated at his attempt. "What is that?"

"Music," he replied softly. He didn't expect a huge thank you, or anything really.

He waited.

"You know I don't play any more," she stated coldly. "Why give me music?"

He was getting angry. "You don't have to play it, Kozue. You don't have to read it and you don't have to like it, but I wrote it for you, and I just thought-"

He didn't know what he thought. He didn't know why he imagined the night before had meant anything.

She grabbed the notebook out of his hands and stormed off. He shook his head. He knew it wouldn't have mattered to her. He knew it was stupid for him to try. As he walked off he noticed that his sister had run into a group of her friends. He tried not to overhear the conversation as they walked by.

"…and so, he was like, please just do this one thing for me. And I told him no way," the random girl paused and then laughed. "I mean, what kind of dork keeps and exchange diary? Right, Kozue?"

She wasn't paying attention. She just nodded and listened to the inane giggling that continued around her. She opened the notebook to a marked page. That stupid paperclip heart she had made was taped on the corner of the page. She read through the music as best as she could. She heard the basic notes in her head clear enough, and when she could, she heard the under lying melody.

It was a sad song, but she understood it, if only by the small clues of the paper clip, and the title, "Paths that Won't Take". She admired him for trying, but she couldn't just deviate from her journey. It was the only thing she knew, and something new, she just didn't know how to handle.

_Hiding and lying  
These are the things that we know  
Why change them  
Why rearrange how we feel  
Why remedy the sting  
Why fix such ancient things  
Paths that won't take  
They won't stick or stay  
They just fade right away  
Paths that won't take  
They lose their way  
And make you say  
Everything you always meant to hide  
Why fix such lies  
Why dare to try  
Just watch us disappear and die_

End.


End file.
